The statement I made in regard to, “Will can do whatever he wants,” has illuminated the need to discuss the relationship between trust and love and how they co-exist…
Here is how I will change my statement…Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so. This does NOT mean we have an open relationship…this means we have a GROWN one. – Jada Pinkett Smith
The discussion of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith’s marital affairs has come up more times than anyone can count over their 14 year relationship. It’s even come up in people’s books… people who have no business spreading other people’s business, but that’s another story. About a month ago, Mrs. Smith was again confronted with these questions about her marriage in an interview with the Huffington Post and she responded “I’ve always told Will, ‘You can do whatever you want as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay, because at the end of the day, Will is his own man. I’m here as his partner, but he is his own man. He has to decide who he wants to be and that’s not for me to do for him. Or vice versa.”
This spurred all types of revised media rumors about the couple having an open relationship, which has been in circulation for about 10 years (GET OVER IT). Pinkett-Smith responded to the backlash on Facebook and ended her post by saying she and her husband have a GROWN RELATIONSHIP.
Now, let’s be real. How many people can really say they have a GROWN RELATIONSHIP? I, personally, only know of two couples, the one in this post and my dad and his wife, who I coincidentally had this conversation with right before I read Jada Smith’s post. He gave me a lot of insight on how things run in relationship that has grown past the “I own you and we have boundaries” stage and it was actually quite simple.
Both parties have to understand, tolerate and respect… the gangster of the other. Now that may sound funny, it may sound like something that you don’t want to do, but it’s necessary. When you reach a certain age or certain maturity, you become set in your ways. You may be able to compromise slightly, but nothing will change the person that you’ve grown into. So there is no room for the extra “hoohah” that comes with dealing with a person in a relationship.
Will & Jada, and my dad & his wife have figured this out. They’ve grown to understand each other. They’ve learned to tolerate each other over the years. They understand that they are their own person with their own free will, which is something most people forget. Everyone still have their own brains and emotions even though they’ve agreed to this union of the hearts. On top of all that, you have to respect the person you’re with and respect the understanding that you’ve come to with your partner. Out of this comes the bliss that you see them share with all of us.
Read Jada’s Facebook post below and try to get some insight from the people around who are in successful relationships that carry themselves the way they do. I bet you’ll think the same.
Let me first say this, there are far more important things to talk about in regards to what is happening in the world than whether I have an open marriage or not. I am addressing this issue because a very important subject has been born from discussions about my statement that may be worthy of addressing.
The statement I made in regard to, “Will can do whatever he wants,” has illuminated the need to discuss the relationship between trust and love and how they co-exist.
Do we believe loving someone means owning them? Do we believe that ownership is the reason someone should “behave”? Do we believe that all the expectations, conditions, and underlying threats of “you better act right or else” keep one honest and true? Do we believe that we can have meaningful relationships with people who have not defined nor live by the integrity of his or her higher self? What of unconditional love? Or does love look like, feel like, and operate as enslavement? Do we believe that the more control we put on someone the safer we are? What of TRUST and LOVE?
Should we be married to individuals who can not be responsible for themselves and their families within their freedom? Should we be in relationships with individuals who we can not entrust to their own values, integrity, and LOVE…for us???
Here is how I will change my statement…Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so. This does NOT mean we have an open relationship…this means we have a GROWN one.